Integrity under fire...
Dear friends-
Many people in a smaller circle of friends have been praying for us. On the other hand, many have written me out of the clear blue sky. Why the title "Integrity under fire?" Over the last three weeks, we have been battling. Everything has been under fire. Three weeks ago, we enlisted the services of a specialist in the removal of oil tanks. Because we own an old radio station there was a 2,200 gallon tank that needed to be removed. He did it and the next day a building that has never had water in it, had water in it. Days and nights of trying to save our home. Children and grandchildren displaced(Still sleeping in the living room.) Over $10,000 damage and climbing. I have been working in the basement this day and the smell of mold has increased. I can "feel" it. I had been "sick" since June. No respite. My business under fire because of my inability to get there. (There is $100,000 in radio equipment that needed to be protected. Sump pumps and regular pumps, contractors in and out and an insurance adjuster who can not "figure" it out, so that there was no help there. A $7,000 note we could not make because we have a $20,000 septic system ready to go in. And projects can not be completed because of the water. Because of the water the new oil tank can not be installed and so life, except for bailing water is on hold. Our Grand Prix did not pass inspection, so we are a one car family. And so the other night I could not take one more thing. Blew up for a few minutes. All it took was hearing a lawyer had not done his job...again. And ended up taking a walk. Talked to God "loudly." Hated myself. Nearly 19 years a Christian and I am "losing it." Nothing should be a surprise for a Christian and peace ought to be our referee. Sure, I can say it is sleep deprivation (Having to get up every few hours to vac water will tire you out.) Blame it on lawyers and bad contractors. We even found knife blade in a tire. And why did I not see "that" I asked.
Integrity is not developed in the fire, but it is seen in the fire. Not quite perfected.
Over the last few weeks I watched the scenario break out of a minister separating from his wife. I received all the reasons why and all the reasons why not. Then drinking appeared as part of it. And an unhealthy relationship. I watched the White's divorce scandal. Bynum's. I see it too much. But what about the profanity in the body? I hear more profanity from believers than I do from unbelievers. I recognize that profanity is not considered a sin by many, yet I see no reason for it. And I am on the streets and with people every day. (I have a new office down town. As my insurance man said, it is because "you are running away.")
Where is the integrity? Covenant appears to men nothing to many. We make and break like nobody's business. There is a price to pay. Usually it is children and young believers. Integrity is under fire. We must come to a new understanding of what it means to be a believer and part of the body. Believers divorcing. How can that be God? Body leaving body behind?
My own integrity disappeared under fire this week. Could not take one more thing. I found a flaw in my fabric. Wanted to send the bank "jingle mail." ("Here are the keys to this house.") Let them replace the septic, the oil tank remove the damaged carpeting, sheet rock and doors. Let them repair what the contractor destroyed. Oh, it was only for a few minutes. But what is a fling? A few minutes that ruins lives.
Why this flaw? I think because we do not understand the working of the body and the five fold. Pastors ought to be instilling integrity and relationship into the body. Prophets holding the banner of hope high and bringing correcting words to shape course. A willingness to confess our faults one to another. We need an overhaul on many levels. I certainly do. Ironically, as I began to share this "message" of church change, I came under attack verbally by many. I began to find myself not feeling well. A call to be the body and many rejected it.
Integrity is revealed in stressful situations, not shaped or thrown out the window. Trust me when I say, I am preaching this message to myself. The stress level in our house is over the top with all the situations on fire.
What is it that God is shaping in you?
Family news
Amy is still in CT and loving it.
Matt is in NM and loving it. He works at a place that has high end massage chairs for it's phone reps and all sorts of perks like that.
Cass is back at school and back in it.
Alyssa is job searching. Jordan and Mariah go to school this week. Jacob is doing well.
Tyler began a new job working with his newly gotten CDL.
Tina heads to Virginia this week for work. New director, a little stress.
Blessings,
Lee
Publisher
The New England Flame
88 WCFR Drive
Springfield, VT 05156
www.NewEnglandFlame.com
Many people in a smaller circle of friends have been praying for us. On the other hand, many have written me out of the clear blue sky. Why the title "Integrity under fire?" Over the last three weeks, we have been battling. Everything has been under fire. Three weeks ago, we enlisted the services of a specialist in the removal of oil tanks. Because we own an old radio station there was a 2,200 gallon tank that needed to be removed. He did it and the next day a building that has never had water in it, had water in it. Days and nights of trying to save our home. Children and grandchildren displaced(Still sleeping in the living room.) Over $10,000 damage and climbing. I have been working in the basement this day and the smell of mold has increased. I can "feel" it. I had been "sick" since June. No respite. My business under fire because of my inability to get there. (There is $100,000 in radio equipment that needed to be protected. Sump pumps and regular pumps, contractors in and out and an insurance adjuster who can not "figure" it out, so that there was no help there. A $7,000 note we could not make because we have a $20,000 septic system ready to go in. And projects can not be completed because of the water. Because of the water the new oil tank can not be installed and so life, except for bailing water is on hold. Our Grand Prix did not pass inspection, so we are a one car family. And so the other night I could not take one more thing. Blew up for a few minutes. All it took was hearing a lawyer had not done his job...again. And ended up taking a walk. Talked to God "loudly." Hated myself. Nearly 19 years a Christian and I am "losing it." Nothing should be a surprise for a Christian and peace ought to be our referee. Sure, I can say it is sleep deprivation (Having to get up every few hours to vac water will tire you out.) Blame it on lawyers and bad contractors. We even found knife blade in a tire. And why did I not see "that" I asked.
Integrity is not developed in the fire, but it is seen in the fire. Not quite perfected.
Over the last few weeks I watched the scenario break out of a minister separating from his wife. I received all the reasons why and all the reasons why not. Then drinking appeared as part of it. And an unhealthy relationship. I watched the White's divorce scandal. Bynum's. I see it too much. But what about the profanity in the body? I hear more profanity from believers than I do from unbelievers. I recognize that profanity is not considered a sin by many, yet I see no reason for it. And I am on the streets and with people every day. (I have a new office down town. As my insurance man said, it is because "you are running away.")
Where is the integrity? Covenant appears to men nothing to many. We make and break like nobody's business. There is a price to pay. Usually it is children and young believers. Integrity is under fire. We must come to a new understanding of what it means to be a believer and part of the body. Believers divorcing. How can that be God? Body leaving body behind?
My own integrity disappeared under fire this week. Could not take one more thing. I found a flaw in my fabric. Wanted to send the bank "jingle mail." ("Here are the keys to this house.") Let them replace the septic, the oil tank remove the damaged carpeting, sheet rock and doors. Let them repair what the contractor destroyed. Oh, it was only for a few minutes. But what is a fling? A few minutes that ruins lives.
Why this flaw? I think because we do not understand the working of the body and the five fold. Pastors ought to be instilling integrity and relationship into the body. Prophets holding the banner of hope high and bringing correcting words to shape course. A willingness to confess our faults one to another. We need an overhaul on many levels. I certainly do. Ironically, as I began to share this "message" of church change, I came under attack verbally by many. I began to find myself not feeling well. A call to be the body and many rejected it.
Integrity is revealed in stressful situations, not shaped or thrown out the window. Trust me when I say, I am preaching this message to myself. The stress level in our house is over the top with all the situations on fire.
What is it that God is shaping in you?
Family news
Amy is still in CT and loving it.
Matt is in NM and loving it. He works at a place that has high end massage chairs for it's phone reps and all sorts of perks like that.
Cass is back at school and back in it.
Alyssa is job searching. Jordan and Mariah go to school this week. Jacob is doing well.
Tyler began a new job working with his newly gotten CDL.
Tina heads to Virginia this week for work. New director, a little stress.
Blessings,
Lee
Publisher
The New England Flame
88 WCFR Drive
Springfield, VT 05156
www.NewEnglandFlame.com
posted by Servant Communications at 2:29 AM
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