What does the word say?
Dear friends-
The last few months have been the most trying times of my life. Health, spirit, finance, etc.. All under fire. Many have said did you read the book of Job. Oh, yeah. And I by no means compare myself to Job and his troubles nor do I consider myself on par with Paul and his light afflictions. On the other hand I was in a meeting a few years ago where an apostolic father said, "Lee & Tina; never met people go through so many trials." I would submit that this summer has broken that previous "record" with plenty of room to spare.
So, both Tina and I appreciate your prayers. Your words. And tonight, even your food!
So, what does the word say about trials?
1 Peter 1:7
That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:
1 Peter 4:12
Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:
Great, I am thinking. As one who was brought as a new Christian in the word of faith I have watched my faith challenged time and time again. I have watched the restoration of my children to me in a way I would not have selected. I weathered a fire that nearly destroyed my family. I watched my stepson Tyler make a tremendous recovery from an accident and 6 weeks of coma. And I will tell you it is not what preaches, but what reaches. What is it that becomes part of your soul? What is it that guides your emotions and remains in reserve. it is not talking the talk, but walking the talk. Now, when I was hit by a taxi and put in a body brace, or even the time I fell off a roof, I thought that was a big deal. And it was at the time.
One of my friends who has walked with me for over 10 years called me the other day. He said the Lord had shown him that we were under siege. A part of me wants to say "no, really" and the other part is excited the Lord is speaking to others about me. So, he shared verses from 2 Kings 6 where the city is under siege from the Assyrians. People did weird things under that siege. I understand the feeling. I have hardened my heart not to the Lord but to the place of being vulnerable again. Those who have experienced broken relationships know what I mean. Nothing "ever" gets to come in. No body, no how, no way.
And another friend of perhaps 12 years reminded me of the need to be a servant and trust the Lord.
Friends, I am struggling. Today I had a plan to get all my newspapers out because of all the "minor" difficulties earlier in the week with holiday, getting bumped at the printer and losing my driver. So, I am ready, except the contractor who did my oil tank has his insurance company's adjuster wants to show up. For 5 hours!!! You have got to be kidding me. And the results were not good.(I recognize it is their adjuster.) So, I struggled to bless him with cold water in the heat, to bless him as he spoke words of discouragement. And when he left, I could feel "self destruct buttons" appearing before my eyes. So, I must cancel my time I set up tomorrow to be with a friend and the Lord.
Funny, how all that time I spent with God this morning got tried. So, I am coming to the place where maybe I should just give up my home. This guy made me sound like the bad guy. Like what was I thinking bringing my children and grandchildren into this home. Did I hire an engineer before I had work done? Etc., etc., etc..
Romans 12:14 Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not.
It is one thing not to curse, but it is another thing not to cave in.
Ephesians 6:10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.
So where is Lee? So tired it is not funny. So worn down I can not think clearly. Were it not for my word of faith roots, I can not imagine where I would be. So ready to give up and let the devil take this place. Funny this was to be an "eagle's nest." Heard it time and time again. A place of prayer and declaration. One prophet said it would be "prayer mountain." The list goes on. Could we have missed it? I feel like I am to fight, but am I the only one who got to the place where the idea of one more battle is two too many?
I am not dead or maimed. My health has suffered "sayeth the doctor" last week. "You need a vacation, a respite, time away. Your blood pressure is climbing over the last few months." "Yeah, I know..." Do you know today I felt like calling it quits, and just crying? My friend shared that the Lord would give me wisdom as to go under the "pummeling wave" or over it. I don't feel like I am hearing Him. And what happens if you quit? I have watched carefully the results of those who quit. Whatever the situation is. I see you have to take the class again, so to speak.
I know the word of God and I know His grace is sufficient for me. And yet I "feel" like I am letting Him down somehow. I don't blame Him for my troubles. What does the word say? I guess it comes down to recounting of blessings as Job did. Recount the times of "butter on the steps." I want a testimony in the midst of this all. A testimony where I can point and say "look what the Lord has done."
I share this word from a dear friend though we see each other infrequently.
"Reading your letter, I got the craziest picture -- so crazy that I am not going to dignify it by alluding in any way that it might be from God.
We are all individual chunks of raw meat, being pressed into the meat-grinder. When we come out, we will be ground up hamburger, one lump indiscernible from the rest. Who knows, perhaps God is planning a wonderful backyard BBQ, to which He is inviting all who seek Him. . . . I suppose the applicable Scripture is John 12:24: "Unless a grain of wheat. . . ." While grains of wheat are a bit tidier than raw meat, they, too, must undergo a grinding. The resulting flour, however, is baked into the most aromatic loaves. . . . (or hamburger buns, if you want to make a complete mess of the metaphor.)"
Now what is interesting, is the Lord had spoken the scripture he mentioned to me. I did not know why. Now I do.
A friend asked me why I thought this was all going on. I had many thoughts in the beginning of this "siege." I went through all of the "it must be my fault" stuff. And part of the conclusion is I have been sharing a message of an apostolic age church. One that is governed by those who are equipped for the job. And the equipping is from the Lord and not the "desire" to participate in church. I also know the Lord allows us to be the "first fruits" so to speak of what is happening. If you share about patience, you most likely will have the opportunity to see it needed. As I said, it is not about the "preach" but about the reach into one's own heart.
I shared with a friend that this kind of thing could make one become the unpleasing , ornery "men of God" who I just avoid. So, I have to figure this all out. I have a friend who has offered help with strategy. Another his place to fast and pray. Another words of "crazy pictures." But the thing that is so need is fellowship. Not for the sake of fellowship, but as I have always said a "problem shared is a problem" halved.
We may lose our home. We certainly can not heat it right now, not being able to hook up the furnace. We may have to move. We have no real "solutions." But in the middle of it I have to find my "peace" because peace is to be my referee. Peace has to be found. For without peace we can give testimony to the power and the presence of God.
Yes, I want to cry. Sometimes even scream. The frustration is seeing "my best efforts" thwarted by the unseen. Every time I think a blessing is around the corner, it feels like a funhouse and it is not real. My friend David left me with this word.
"Hang in there; hope is not optional. "
Blessings,
Lee
Pillars Of Clouds& Fire Ministries
88 WCFR Drive
Springfield, Vermont 05156
802-384-3993
Building relationships for the goodness of our region.
www.pocafministries.org
The last few months have been the most trying times of my life. Health, spirit, finance, etc.. All under fire. Many have said did you read the book of Job. Oh, yeah. And I by no means compare myself to Job and his troubles nor do I consider myself on par with Paul and his light afflictions. On the other hand I was in a meeting a few years ago where an apostolic father said, "Lee & Tina; never met people go through so many trials." I would submit that this summer has broken that previous "record" with plenty of room to spare.
So, both Tina and I appreciate your prayers. Your words. And tonight, even your food!
So, what does the word say about trials?
1 Peter 1:7
That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:
1 Peter 4:12
Beloved, think it not strange concerning the fiery trial which is to try you, as though some strange thing happened unto you:
Great, I am thinking. As one who was brought as a new Christian in the word of faith I have watched my faith challenged time and time again. I have watched the restoration of my children to me in a way I would not have selected. I weathered a fire that nearly destroyed my family. I watched my stepson Tyler make a tremendous recovery from an accident and 6 weeks of coma. And I will tell you it is not what preaches, but what reaches. What is it that becomes part of your soul? What is it that guides your emotions and remains in reserve. it is not talking the talk, but walking the talk. Now, when I was hit by a taxi and put in a body brace, or even the time I fell off a roof, I thought that was a big deal. And it was at the time.
One of my friends who has walked with me for over 10 years called me the other day. He said the Lord had shown him that we were under siege. A part of me wants to say "no, really" and the other part is excited the Lord is speaking to others about me. So, he shared verses from 2 Kings 6 where the city is under siege from the Assyrians. People did weird things under that siege. I understand the feeling. I have hardened my heart not to the Lord but to the place of being vulnerable again. Those who have experienced broken relationships know what I mean. Nothing "ever" gets to come in. No body, no how, no way.
And another friend of perhaps 12 years reminded me of the need to be a servant and trust the Lord.
Friends, I am struggling. Today I had a plan to get all my newspapers out because of all the "minor" difficulties earlier in the week with holiday, getting bumped at the printer and losing my driver. So, I am ready, except the contractor who did my oil tank has his insurance company's adjuster wants to show up. For 5 hours!!! You have got to be kidding me. And the results were not good.(I recognize it is their adjuster.) So, I struggled to bless him with cold water in the heat, to bless him as he spoke words of discouragement. And when he left, I could feel "self destruct buttons" appearing before my eyes. So, I must cancel my time I set up tomorrow to be with a friend and the Lord.
Funny, how all that time I spent with God this morning got tried. So, I am coming to the place where maybe I should just give up my home. This guy made me sound like the bad guy. Like what was I thinking bringing my children and grandchildren into this home. Did I hire an engineer before I had work done? Etc., etc., etc..
Romans 12:14 Bless them which persecute you: bless, and curse not.
It is one thing not to curse, but it is another thing not to cave in.
Ephesians 6:10 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might.
So where is Lee? So tired it is not funny. So worn down I can not think clearly. Were it not for my word of faith roots, I can not imagine where I would be. So ready to give up and let the devil take this place. Funny this was to be an "eagle's nest." Heard it time and time again. A place of prayer and declaration. One prophet said it would be "prayer mountain." The list goes on. Could we have missed it? I feel like I am to fight, but am I the only one who got to the place where the idea of one more battle is two too many?
I am not dead or maimed. My health has suffered "sayeth the doctor" last week. "You need a vacation, a respite, time away. Your blood pressure is climbing over the last few months." "Yeah, I know..." Do you know today I felt like calling it quits, and just crying? My friend shared that the Lord would give me wisdom as to go under the "pummeling wave" or over it. I don't feel like I am hearing Him. And what happens if you quit? I have watched carefully the results of those who quit. Whatever the situation is. I see you have to take the class again, so to speak.
I know the word of God and I know His grace is sufficient for me. And yet I "feel" like I am letting Him down somehow. I don't blame Him for my troubles. What does the word say? I guess it comes down to recounting of blessings as Job did. Recount the times of "butter on the steps." I want a testimony in the midst of this all. A testimony where I can point and say "look what the Lord has done."
I share this word from a dear friend though we see each other infrequently.
"Reading your letter, I got the craziest picture -- so crazy that I am not going to dignify it by alluding in any way that it might be from God.
We are all individual chunks of raw meat, being pressed into the meat-grinder. When we come out, we will be ground up hamburger, one lump indiscernible from the rest. Who knows, perhaps God is planning a wonderful backyard BBQ, to which He is inviting all who seek Him. . . . I suppose the applicable Scripture is John 12:24: "Unless a grain of wheat. . . ." While grains of wheat are a bit tidier than raw meat, they, too, must undergo a grinding. The resulting flour, however, is baked into the most aromatic loaves. . . . (or hamburger buns, if you want to make a complete mess of the metaphor.)"
Now what is interesting, is the Lord had spoken the scripture he mentioned to me. I did not know why. Now I do.
A friend asked me why I thought this was all going on. I had many thoughts in the beginning of this "siege." I went through all of the "it must be my fault" stuff. And part of the conclusion is I have been sharing a message of an apostolic age church. One that is governed by those who are equipped for the job. And the equipping is from the Lord and not the "desire" to participate in church. I also know the Lord allows us to be the "first fruits" so to speak of what is happening. If you share about patience, you most likely will have the opportunity to see it needed. As I said, it is not about the "preach" but about the reach into one's own heart.
I shared with a friend that this kind of thing could make one become the unpleasing , ornery "men of God" who I just avoid. So, I have to figure this all out. I have a friend who has offered help with strategy. Another his place to fast and pray. Another words of "crazy pictures." But the thing that is so need is fellowship. Not for the sake of fellowship, but as I have always said a "problem shared is a problem" halved.
We may lose our home. We certainly can not heat it right now, not being able to hook up the furnace. We may have to move. We have no real "solutions." But in the middle of it I have to find my "peace" because peace is to be my referee. Peace has to be found. For without peace we can give testimony to the power and the presence of God.
Yes, I want to cry. Sometimes even scream. The frustration is seeing "my best efforts" thwarted by the unseen. Every time I think a blessing is around the corner, it feels like a funhouse and it is not real. My friend David left me with this word.
"Hang in there; hope is not optional. "
Blessings,
Lee
Pillars Of Clouds& Fire Ministries
88 WCFR Drive
Springfield, Vermont 05156
802-384-3993
Building relationships for the goodness of our region.
www.pocafministries.org
posted by Servant Communications at 5:01 PM
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